Over Achiever
Every trophy on one shirt. Modesty sold separately.
Coming soon
PARODY NOTICE
This website is a work of parody and satire intended solely for humour, commentary, and entertainment. No names, photographs, or identifiable images of any person have been used. The content is fictional, satirical, and deliberately exaggerated, and should not be construed as a statement of fact, allegation, or assertion concerning any individual. The website is intended to comment on conduct and actions through humour and does not seek to defame, injure the reputation of, or cause harm to any person.
★ Supreme Admin · Beloved Founder · Eternal Sensei ★
One Group. One Leader. One Add Button.
Kim G is an entrepreneur, a martial artist, a security consultant, a management consultant, and the sole individual entrusted with the sacred power to press "Add Participant." All others may only speak, react, and comply.
★ ENTREPRENEUR★ MARTIAL ARTIST★ SECURITY CONSULTANT★ MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT★ SUPREME ADMIN★ LIFE COACH★ ENTREPRENEUR★ MARTIAL ARTIST★ SECURITY CONSULTANT★ MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT★ SUPREME ADMIN★ LIFE COACH
Official Record
Titles currently held
Kim doesn't collect business cards. Kim collects job titles, most of which were self-declared the same week he joined LinkedIn.
💼
Entrepreneur
Runs at least one company. Which one depends on the day and who's asking.
🥋
Martial Artist
Discipline, focus, technique—and the ability to turn “just one quick question” into a full seminar on stance, respect, and why everyone else is doing it wrong.
🥊
Combat Instructor
Ready to teach the art of combat. First lesson for the group: keep your guard up, your excuses down, and never challenge Kim to demonstrate “one small technique” unless you’ve cleared the rest of your afternoon.
🏆
Sports Manager
Manages sports with the confidence of a man who can turn a casual match into a multi-season franchise, complete with strategy meetings, performance reviews, and a transfer window for the snack budget.
♟️
Strategic Consultant
Thinks several moves ahead. By the time everyone agrees what the problem is, Kim has named the initiative, built a roadmap, and scheduled a review of the roadmap.
🔎
Researcher
Follows the evidence wherever it leads—ideally to a 47-tab browser session and a message beginning, “I did a little digging,” followed by a report longer than the original question.
💡
Ideator
Produces ideas at a rate that makes the “quick brainstorm” a legally recognized endurance event. Some ideas become projects; the rest are waiting in the queue for their own launch strategy.
🛡️
Security Consultant
Consults. Mostly on who is and isn't allowed to add a new member to this group.
📊
Management Consultant
Has restructured this friend group's org chart four times. He remains the only permanent node.
🧘
Life Coach
Unlicensed, unpaid, unstoppable. Specializes in reminding people they are almost 40 years old.
🌍
Social Entrepreneur
Working in the women-and-child-safety sector for about a decade through his social entrepreneurship venture. The impact work is real; the humblebrag is still pending approval.
🛡️
Women & Child Safety Practitioner
UNESCO-certified in Women and Child Safety. Not claiming expert status—just bringing a decade of sector experience, practitioner credentials, and researcher energy to the table. Kim's rare title that comes with receipts.
🍸
Executive Mixer of Drinks & Advice
Mixes a cocktail, a business plan, and an unrequested life lesson before the ice melts.
🩺
MBBS: Master of Bragging & Bullshitting
Consultant to all doctors, especially on the one subject he knows best: Kim.
👑
Supreme Admin
The one title that's actually verifiable. Confirmed via the little crown next to his name.
Explore 23 more titles from the LinkedIn multiverse
Director · Sports enterprise
Chief Adrenaline & Acronym Officer
Turns combat sports into a strategy deck with three partnerships and a post-match debrief.
Founder–Director · Combat network
Founder of the Fighting Flowchart
Every bout needs a bracket, a briefing, and a follow-up meeting.
Assistant Research Officer · Public health
Chief of Very Serious Field Notes
Can turn an observation into a chart, a report, and a presentation before lunch.
Data Manager · Research
Spreadsheet Sensei
Keeps the numbers in line and the commentary in a separate, much longer tab.
Executive Member · Fitness expo
Executive of Being on the List
Joined an expo committee and gave the résumé its own VIP wristband.
Managing Partner · Strategic management
Partner in Prevailing Winds
Sets the strategic direction, then schedules a review of the direction.
Director & CEO · Grappling network
Chief Grappling Officer
When a hold works, it is a framework. When it fails, it is a learning opportunity.
Founder, Owner & Chief Instructor · Combat academy
Triple-Crowned Combat Boss
Founder, owner, instructor: three title lines before the warm-up even starts.
Founder & Owner · Production studio
Studio Universe Executive
Web shows, short films, ads, documentaries—and one very long introduction.
Director · School of modelling
Runway Board Director
Runs the catwalk like a quarterly review, complete with grooming and a closing presentation.
Ambassador · Fitness brand
Ambassador at Large (and in Reps)
Represents fitness, personal development, and the noble art of introducing himself.
Executive Marketing · Fitness expo
Three-Month Marketing Legend
A short campaign; a permanent spot on the LinkedIn scroll.
Competition Management · Football tournament
Tournament Title Collector
Helped manage a competition and took home the most durable souvenir: another job title.
Project Manager · Kabaddi franchise
Kabaddi Operations Commander
From vendors to the box office, every task gets a workstream and a pep talk.
Stadium Implementation · Cricket league
Stadium Readiness Strategist
Even the stadium checklist gets a pre-match briefing.
Management Intern · Sports education
Intern of All Sports
Business development, curriculum, data, team coordination—and an intern badge to match.
Team Lead · Fitness awareness
Chief Motivation Marksman
Takes aim at inactivity with a campaign plan and a surprisingly detailed spreadsheet.
Intern · Cricket association
Captain of the Internship XI
Two months on the roster, already leading the internship group.
Digital Marketing Consultant
Digital Strategy Whisperer
Any post can become a campaign if you give it a KPI and enough slides.
Marketing & Coordination Executive
Marketing List Curator
The duties were numbered twice; the ambition never needed numbering.
Project Supervisor & Performance Analyst
Site, Stats & Strategy Supervisor
Supervises the site, studies the numbers, and gives the monthly report a monthly report.
Executive Assistant to the Director
Director of the Director’s Calendar
Slides, clients, coordination—and the mysterious duties hidden under “etc.”
Field Research Assistant · Marine sciences
Ocean Data Wrangler
Samples, filters, carbon, fish: every expedition ends with a spreadsheet.
Achievements of the Glorious Group
The Five-Year Plan, by the numbers
Audited internally, by Kim, for Kim.
1
Person permitted to add members
8
Co-admins in the League of Legends
1
Of those 8 who's ever actually done anything
∞
Job titles, and counting
Unwritten, But Enforced
House rules
Not published anywhere. Just enforced, consistently, whenever someone forgets — usually pinned right after.
01
Only Kim adds members.
Not the co-admins. Not you. Kim reviews every candidate personally, on a timeline only he understands.
02
We are almost 40.
Not a fact so much as a rebuttal — deployable against any joke, sticker, or voice note Kim finds beneath the group's dignity. We have work, family, business, and a lot of things n shit to take care of in life.
— pinned by Kim, 14:0703
Let's not act like a 5 year old.
Defined entirely by Kim, updated in real time, and somehow never applies to Kim's own multi-paragraph essays on group discipline. Friends, batchmates, classmates all are fine — but let's keep things civil and balanced. Period. 🙏
04
Titles are self-issued.
Entrepreneur, martial artist, consultant — all valid the moment Kim says them out loud in the group.
Distinguished Service, Undefined Duties
Meet the League of Legends
Eight co-admins hold the badge. One person does the work. The other seven mostly surface to like, heart, and applaud whatever the first two just said.
Members · League of Legends8 Admins
🏅
Co-Admin No. 1
Last seen: reacting ❤️ to Kim's pinned message
Dormant
🎖️
Co-Admin No. 2
Last seen: telling Co-Admin No. 4 their forward was "underrated"
Dormant
🏵️
Co-Admin No. 3
Has never removed a spammer; has 😂'd one six times
Dormant
🎗️
Co-Admin No. 4
Reposts Kim's rulings with a 🙌, never questions one
Dormant
🥇
Co-Admin No. 5
Online only to say "Welcome back" to returning members
Dormant
🥈
Co-Admin No. 6
Appreciates every joke in the group except the funny ones
Dormant
🥉
Co-Admin No. 7
Has admin rights since 2019; has used them zero times
Dormant
👑
Kim G
The one admin who actually admins. Occasionally.
Supreme
Voices of the People
What the group says
Anonymous, for obvious reasons.
"I asked to add a batchmate. Kim said he'd 'take it under consideration.' That was in 2022."
A FOUNDING MEMBER
"'We are almost 40' has been used to shut down a meme, a nickname, and one entire birthday plan."
SOMEONE MUTED SINCE TUESDAY
"The League of Legends have never moderated a single message, but between them they've said 'love this' about four thousand times."
A CONFUSED NEW JOINEE
"We're all almost 40. He's the only one who brings it up during a meme thread. Period."
A REPEAT OFFENDER
Coming Soon
BAN-JARA Apparels and Logistics (BAL) is the official merchandise store for the group. Opening shortly.
Official Merchandise
Wear the legend
Four tees for people who have been told "we are almost 40" at least once. Printed on demand and shipped across India, launching soon.
Supreme Leader
Propaganda-poster style, for the admin who rules by pinned message.
Coming soon
The Journey
From Ordinary Joe to Legendary, one step at a time.
Coming soon
CEO of Everything
Strategist by Monday, life coach by Saturday, still under achieving.
Coming soonBAN-JARA Apparels and Logistics (BAL) is opening soon. Orders will be printed and delivered by our print-on-demand partner.
Want to add someone to the group?
Submit a formal request. Kim will review it personally, at a time of his choosing, possibly never. The League of Legends will not be consulted — but they will 👏 the decision either way.
Submit for Kim's ReviewAll formal correspondence: kim@joblesskim.com · read receipts disabled
Legal-ish
Disclaimer
This website is a work of parody and satire intended solely for humour, commentary, and entertainment. No names, photographs, or identifiable images of any person have been used. The content is fictional, satirical, and deliberately exaggerated, and should not be construed as a statement of fact, allegation, or assertion concerning any individual. The website is intended to comment on conduct and actions through humour and does not seek to defame, injure the reputation of, or cause harm to any person.